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Kind: captions
Language: en

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You're enjoying a slice of pizza at the food 
court, when all of a sudden the room warps  

00:00:05.600 --> 00:00:12.640
around you. The plastic tables and chairs become a 
jury box, wooden tables, a witness stand. You look  

00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:21.520
down at your hands...they look different. Wrong. 
Soft and fluffy and...sugary? A gavel bangs,  

00:00:21.520 --> 00:00:29.200
and you look up to see a judge waiting for your 
statement. Welcome to the court. The Food Court.

00:00:29.200 --> 00:00:32.520
It's a rainy day in Newcastle, 
Australia, and on rainy days  

00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:37.280
there's nothing that Josh likes more than 
to hide out at the mall for a few hours.

00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:42.080
Some people don't enjoy malls, the crowds, 
the noise, the smorgasbord of sights, sounds,  

00:00:42.080 --> 00:00:46.440
and smells, but not Josh. He loves a 
bit of commerce with his leisure time,  

00:00:46.440 --> 00:00:50.440
to seek refuge beneath the warm 
glow of the fluorescent lights.

00:00:50.440 --> 00:00:53.840
First, he'll dip into the bookstore 
and flip through a few new releases,  

00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:56.360
maybe check out the comic books. Next,  

00:00:56.360 --> 00:01:00.520
check out the surf shop and consider taking 
up surfing. He hasn't tried it before,  

00:01:00.520 --> 00:01:06.800
but it's nice to consider the possibility between 
glossy advertisements and surf and dive equipment.

00:01:06.800 --> 00:01:11.440
If there's anything interesting showing at the 
cinema, he'll pop in for a matinee. There's just  

00:01:11.440 --> 00:01:16.000
so much to do at the mall for a young man with 
some time to kill and a desire to stay out of  

00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:22.000
the rain. Of course, all that shopping works up 
an appetite, and after he finishes his movie Josh  

00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:27.240
finds himself in the mood for something a bit more 
substantial than popcorn. Good thing this mall,  

00:01:27.240 --> 00:01:33.200
like every mall, has a well-stocked food court! A 
piece of pizza sounds pretty good right about now.

00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:37.720
As Josh makes his way to the food court, he 
becomes acutely aware that the mall is a lot  

00:01:37.720 --> 00:01:42.240
emptier than he's used to. He hasn't been 
to this particular mall before, to be fair,  

00:01:42.240 --> 00:01:47.240
but generally a rainy day brings pretty 
big crowds in, eager to avoid the storm.

00:01:47.240 --> 00:01:50.280
But it's nothing to worry 
about, more for him to enjoy!

00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:52.680
The stores are still open and well-staffed,  

00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:56.680
it doesn't matter much to him that there 
don't seem to be many shoppers. If anything,  

00:01:56.680 --> 00:02:01.640
he knows that the food court won't have any long 
lines! His prediction turns out to be correct,  

00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:06.360
and when he reaches the food court Josh finds it 
nearly deserted except for the employees manning  

00:02:06.360 --> 00:02:10.960
each of the counters. He shrugs, and steps up 
to the counter beneath a giant picture of a  

00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:15.200
pizza. Guess the good old fashioned shopping 
mall couldn't keep up with online shopping  

00:02:15.200 --> 00:02:20.920
forever. But at least there are still some 
people, like Josh, keeping the old ways alive.

00:02:20.920 --> 00:02:24.600
He orders a pizza and a soda from 
a nervous, sweaty teenage cashier,  

00:02:24.600 --> 00:02:29.120
then carries his meal over to one of the 
many empty plastic tables and chairs.

00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:36.120
First, a big sip of soda. Walking through the mall 
really makes a guy thirsty! Now, time to feast.  

00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:41.560
Nothing like a good bit of food court pizza after 
working up an appetite. Josh takes a big, ravenous  

00:02:41.560 --> 00:02:47.640
bite and begins to chew. It's good! Better than 
pizza at the mall usually is, he has to admit.

00:02:47.640 --> 00:02:52.800
But something doesn't feel right...His throat 
feels strange as he swallows, his eyes feel  

00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:59.880
bleary and heavy all of a sudden. He blinks, 
and peers around the room to find it...changing.

00:02:59.880 --> 00:03:05.720
The walls close in, the room shrinking around him. 
The furniture reconfigures itself, forming desks,  

00:03:05.720 --> 00:03:12.160
rows of chairs, box seats off to the side, a 
judge's bench. Josh has watched plenty of legal  

00:03:12.160 --> 00:03:18.440
dramas, more than enough to recognize this layout 
when he sees it. He's in a courtroom. But how?  

00:03:18.440 --> 00:03:24.360
And why? But that question is soon replaced with 
new questions as he sees a loaf of bread wobbling  

00:03:24.360 --> 00:03:29.960
across the floor toward him. There's no other 
way to describe it, the bread is walking in his  

00:03:29.960 --> 00:03:36.840
direction. It stops right in front of him, 
and much to his shock, it begins to speak. 

00:03:36.840 --> 00:03:40.040
But before we go any further, 
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And now back to the bizarre 
English-speaking loaf of bread 

00:05:01.120 --> 00:05:03.800
"Please baguette to your seat, defondant."

00:05:03.800 --> 00:05:08.800
For a moment, Josh is too stunned to respond. 
Eventually, he summons the words. Or he tries  

00:05:08.800 --> 00:05:14.280
to. What he thinks, and what comes out of his 
mouth, are entirely different. He wants to ask  

00:05:14.280 --> 00:05:19.920
"What's going on?!" but what comes out is: "Why 
do you think you can boss me around, ya big loaf?"

00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:24.400
He stands up, and scans the newly-formed 
courtroom. It isn't just him and the  

00:05:24.400 --> 00:05:28.160
magical talking bread loaf in here. He 
can see a bucket of popcorn sitting in  

00:05:28.160 --> 00:05:32.120
the jury box next to a gummy bear, a head 
of lettuce watching from one of the chairs  

00:05:32.120 --> 00:05:37.760
behind him. A chicken drumstick sits at a 
typewriter acting as the court reporter.

00:05:37.760 --> 00:05:41.080
Josh realizes then that in this nonsense court,  

00:05:41.080 --> 00:05:46.400
this loaf must be the bailiff- 
or the "bailoaff," as it were.

00:05:46.400 --> 00:05:50.240
"Heh," The bailoaff scoffs, 
"I'm the yeast of your worries."

00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:53.760
He slaps Josh on the back with a 
hand a bread loaf shouldn't have,  

00:05:53.760 --> 00:05:56.520
and leads him over to a chair 
at the Defendant's table.

00:05:56.520 --> 00:05:59.240
"Soy I'll say it again, sit down."

00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:03.400
Even in his shock and confusion, Josh 
can feel himself growing irritated at  

00:06:03.400 --> 00:06:08.720
the food-based puns. What's going on here? 
Did someone put something in his pizza? Or  

00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:12.000
did he fall asleep in the food court 
and start having some kind of bizarre  

00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:17.520
food-induced nightmare? It's all just 
too weird. But he sits, just the same.

00:06:17.520 --> 00:06:22.360
"Fine, but stop doughing that, you're 
starching to get on my nerves. Wait, what?"

00:06:22.360 --> 00:06:25.880
Again, he can't control the words 
coming from his mouth. They tumble out,  

00:06:25.880 --> 00:06:29.840
seemingly of their own accord. He's 
never been much for puns before,  

00:06:29.840 --> 00:06:34.160
but now he just can't seem to stop! 
The weirdest day ever is only getting  

00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:39.200
weirder as a big, red heirloom tomato 
sits down in the chair next to him.

00:06:39.200 --> 00:06:42.360
"Don't worry about it. That just 
kind of happens here. You'll get  

00:06:42.360 --> 00:06:49.000
couscoused to it." The tomato says. 
The tomato lawyer, maybe? Tomattorney?

00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:54.480
"Who are you vanilla exctractly?" Josh 
asks. He's never spoken to a tomato before,  

00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:56.760
much less one with a Southern accent.

00:06:56.760 --> 00:07:00.640
"Oh right! Nice to meat you, I've 
been assigned as your public defence  

00:07:00.640 --> 00:07:07.200
arugalawyer." So Josh was right. This is 
his...tomatattorney. But why does he have  

00:07:07.200 --> 00:07:11.160
one in the first place? What crime 
could he possibly be on trial for,  

00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:17.000
especially in such a strange court? But before 
he can ask, the bailoaff bellows an announcement.

00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:20.000
"All rise for the honorable Fudge Hershey!"

00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:22.000
Oh for the love of chips.

00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:26.600
But he stands, unwilling to find out what might 
happen if he gets himself in even more trouble  

00:07:26.600 --> 00:07:34.080
in this food-based land. Here comes the judge- 
or the fudge. Sure enough, the door opens and  

00:07:34.080 --> 00:07:40.240
in strides the stateliest piece of fudge that 
Josh has ever seen, clad in a judge's robes.

00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:44.840
It sits at the judge's bench, and without 
any arms picks up the gavel and pounds it  

00:07:44.840 --> 00:07:49.640
on the wooden surface, bringing the room to 
attention. The piece of fudge has no eyes,  

00:07:49.640 --> 00:07:54.760
but Josh can feel the fudge looking 
right at him just the same. It speaks,  

00:07:54.760 --> 00:07:59.520
"Now, lettuce get this underwhey. 
Defondant, what is your name?"

00:07:59.520 --> 00:08:07.280
Defendant. That's him. In a moment of pure panic, 
Josh salutes the fudge, then speaks. "I yam Josh."

00:08:07.280 --> 00:08:12.080
The fudge nods. "Josh, you stand 
before a jury of your pears,  

00:08:12.080 --> 00:08:16.800
and by that I mean pears you've eaten throughout 
your life, to defend the fact you have killed  

00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:22.520
and eaten so many of us before. Let's 
start with your opening arguments."

00:08:22.520 --> 00:08:26.760
Wait, what?! Is this for real? 
Josh pinches his arm, hard.

00:08:26.760 --> 00:08:28.480
Ouch! It hurts!

00:08:28.480 --> 00:08:33.760
So, not a dream, then. Maybe a 
hallucination? But it feels so  

00:08:33.760 --> 00:08:38.840
real. Wait a second...when he pinched 
his arm, something didn't feel right.

00:08:38.840 --> 00:08:42.400
In all of the confusion, Josh has been 
looking at the room and the food in it,  

00:08:42.400 --> 00:08:46.320
but he hasn't taken a moment to 
look down at himself. When he does,  

00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:51.120
he sees that his clothes, his skin, his 
hair, and no doubt his blood, organs,  

00:08:51.120 --> 00:08:55.920
and all the rest, are made from thick 
cake frosting in a variety of colors.

00:08:55.920 --> 00:08:59.800
He's not just among the 
food, he's become food too!

00:08:59.800 --> 00:09:04.320
But his transformed state doesn't seem to have 
won him any points with the fudge, or the jury  

00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:09.560
of the pears and various other foods. How is 
he supposed to defend the act of eating food,  

00:09:09.560 --> 00:09:16.400
to a room full of food?! Well, he's got 
to try. He clears his throat, and begins.

00:09:16.400 --> 00:09:20.800
"I know this is hard to hear..." He 
glances at the jury box, attempting  

00:09:20.800 --> 00:09:24.920
to make sympathetic eye contact with the 
foodstuffs sitting there. "But I promise  

00:09:24.920 --> 00:09:30.920
I only ever ate any of you to stay achive!" He 
meant to say "alive," but that'll have to do.

00:09:30.920 --> 00:09:35.840
Someone on the other side of the room snorts 
derisively in response. Josh turns his head,  

00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:40.880
and sees something standing at the plaintiff's 
table. It looks like a big piece of cured meat,  

00:09:40.880 --> 00:09:46.720
salami or prosciutto, perhaps? What's 
the pun here...oh! It washes over him  

00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:52.760
like a bucket of cold water dumped on his 
head. The prosecutor...the procharcuterie.

00:09:52.760 --> 00:09:56.600
"Today," The procharcuterie 
begins, "I will convince you  

00:09:56.600 --> 00:10:01.080
that Josh not only ate many of us, 
but ate us with delicious intent!"

00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:05.640
Gasps from the jury box, then a moment of 
tense silence hangs over the room until  

00:10:05.640 --> 00:10:10.440
the procharcuterie speaks again. "I'd 
like to call a wheatness to the stand."

00:10:10.440 --> 00:10:15.360
Josh can't help but look as he hears movement 
at the far side of the room. It's an egg,  

00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:20.480
shell and all, rolling up to the witness 
stand. His stomach drops. He was always  

00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:24.720
taught that breakfast was the most important 
meal of the day, and he can't even begin to  

00:10:24.720 --> 00:10:30.280
count how many eggs have been sacrificed in 
the name of breaking that all-important fast.

00:10:30.280 --> 00:10:33.720
The egg stills on the stand, and 
the procharcuterie begins his line  

00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:38.360
of questioning. "Hello Ms. Sunny Sydup. 
You all know Sunny as the Hard-Boiled  

00:10:38.360 --> 00:10:42.640
cop who keeps our streets safe, but did 
you know Ms. Sydup was brutally attacked  

00:10:42.640 --> 00:10:48.200
and eaten by Josh a while back when- 
well, omelet Sunny tell you about it."

00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:52.640
Josh's eyes widen at the words. If he'd known 
the egg was a cop, he never would have eaten  

00:10:52.640 --> 00:10:58.720
it! But now, he supposes, it's too late. 
He'll have to hear what the egg has to say.

00:10:58.720 --> 00:11:03.680
The egg's voice is tearful, wavering as 
she speaks. "My memory of the event might  

00:11:03.680 --> 00:11:07.800
be a little scrambled since it was pretty 
traumatic but I'll tell the story as well  

00:11:07.800 --> 00:11:11.800
as I can remember. It was early in the 
morning when that deviled man kidnapped  

00:11:11.800 --> 00:11:16.600
me and my fellow eggs. We could tell he 
was carton us off to his murder room."

00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:21.200
Murder room, does she mean a kitchen?! Come 
on, he's not Hannibal Lecter here, he's just  

00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:26.880
a guy who needs to eat! Though, he supposes 
Hannibal Lecter might make the same argument.

00:11:26.880 --> 00:11:30.200
The egg continues her account of 
the events. "Once we were there,  

00:11:30.200 --> 00:11:34.760
we tried to hash things out with him but he 
wouldn't listen. Things started to heat up,  

00:11:34.760 --> 00:11:41.800
literally, he threw us into a pan on top of some 
bread. That's when I knew, I was french toast!"

00:11:41.800 --> 00:11:46.320
Sympathetic murmurs ripple through the jury 
box, as the procharcuterie turns to face them  

00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:53.360
again. "As you can see, Josh didn't just use Ms. 
Sydup for sustenance. Josh, did you kale Sunny  

00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:58.920
with the only intent being peanutrition, 
or did you do it to have a good meal?"

00:11:58.920 --> 00:12:03.720
Josh is a deer in headlights, unsure of 
what to say. Since when is having a meal,  

00:12:03.720 --> 00:12:07.400
a succulent breakfast meal, a 
crime? But before he can answer,  

00:12:07.400 --> 00:12:13.040
the fudge bangs his gavel. "I'll ask you not 
to question the defondant at this thyme."

00:12:13.040 --> 00:12:15.600
The tomattorney stands up again and addresses  

00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:19.720
the fudge. "I would now like to 
call a wheatness to the stand."

00:12:19.720 --> 00:12:24.360
Who could it possibly be calling to the stand 
in his defense? He quickly gets an answer,  

00:12:24.360 --> 00:12:28.520
when a bean bounces across the floor and 
all the way to the witness stand. The  

00:12:28.520 --> 00:12:34.560
Tomattorney addresses the bean, "Now, Mr. 
Bean how was your experience with Josh?"

00:12:34.560 --> 00:12:38.400
The bean nods. "Lima tell it to ya 
straight, there's nothing mean about  

00:12:38.400 --> 00:12:42.880
Josh. I used to think he happily olived with 
the fact he kaled and ate us. It wasn't lentil  

00:12:42.880 --> 00:12:46.760
he opened our can and poured us into a 
bowl that had so mushroom for all of us.  

00:12:46.760 --> 00:12:51.400
I realized Josh cared about our well being 
too. Now I donut speak for everyone here,  

00:12:51.400 --> 00:12:57.000
but I beleaf Josh is a good guy. He had bean 
consuming us solely for peanutritional value."

00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:01.360
Josh lets out a sigh of relief. At least 
some of these foods are on his side. The  

00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:06.840
tomattorney turns to the jury, addressing them 
with a bit of folksy heirloom charm "Purely,  

00:13:06.840 --> 00:13:11.440
for, peanutritional value. Now that 
doesn't sound like a man who revels  

00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:17.360
in food's grain for his own turkish delight! 
Josh is a man who only eats us for his own  

00:13:17.360 --> 00:13:22.680
survival. Do you need s'more convincing? There 
can'talope be any butter evidence than that!"

00:13:22.680 --> 00:13:29.520
But the fudge is not so easily swayed. "One 
bean's experience does not spleek for all foods.  

00:13:29.520 --> 00:13:33.440
I rule in flavor of the peaple. The 
defondant is a man who revels in  

00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:41.400
causing food grain and a perpetrator of crimes 
against Humunchkind. Call in the Execucumber!"

00:13:41.400 --> 00:13:46.040
What?! Josh's stomach drops. The jury hasn't 
even had a chance to deliberate and the  

00:13:46.040 --> 00:13:51.280
Fudge is already calling for the execucumber?! 
It's not fair! He knows it likely won't help,  

00:13:51.280 --> 00:13:56.960
but he has to speak up. "Crumb on man, I never 
realized you were all achive! I want to call for  

00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:02.200
an appeel!" But the fudge is dispassionate, 
and gives him no response. That's it,  

00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:06.040
he's got to make a run for it. He stands 
up and tries to sprint toward the exit,  

00:14:06.040 --> 00:14:09.160
but someone grabs hold of the 
back of his frosting shirt.

00:14:09.160 --> 00:14:13.120
The bailoaff is a lot stronger than 
he looks. Most be a whole wheat bread,  

00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:18.600
Josh thinks. The bailoaff forces him back into 
his chair, shouting, "Hey! Romaine in your seat."

00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:23.800
The tomattorney bangs his fist on the table, 
crying out for justice. "This isn't fair! It  

00:14:23.800 --> 00:14:29.640
hasn't been from the starch! Your Honor, what are 
you? That's right, fudge. You're way too biased  

00:14:29.640 --> 00:14:34.680
to be a Fudge. You're spicefically crafted to 
be a treat for humans. It's not Josh's salt his  

00:14:34.680 --> 00:14:40.680
societea has made it so ok to eat us. He should 
not be blamed for humanitea's shortcomings!"

00:14:40.680 --> 00:14:47.480
But there is no corn in the courtroom, so the 
pleas fall on deaf ears. The eyes of the potatoes,  

00:14:47.480 --> 00:14:52.800
and Josh, watch as the Fudge bangs his 
gavel again. "This is spaghetting out  

00:14:52.800 --> 00:14:57.720
of hand. I take my rulings berry 
cerealsly. You cumin my courtroom  

00:14:57.720 --> 00:15:03.280
and flander my name like this? You're 
out of lime, bailoaff, escort him out."

00:15:03.280 --> 00:15:07.600
The bailoaff grabs hold of the tomattorney 
and drags him from the room. "Have fun  

00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:12.080
carrotting in prison." He quips. The 
tomattorney shouts, "You cannut silence  

00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:17.480
us! This is tyranny!" But no one stops the 
bailoaff from removing him from the court.

00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:23.480
Now, it's just Josh alone in a room with food 
that wants him dead. No one left to argue for  

00:15:23.480 --> 00:15:28.680
his innocence, or a stay of execution. The 
door at the back of the room creaks open,  

00:15:28.680 --> 00:15:35.000
and in walks an enormous cucumber, bigger than any 
cucumber Josh has ever seen. It's taller than him  

00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:43.840
by at least two feet, dressed in black robes and 
a hood. It bounces toward him slowly, menacingly.

00:15:43.840 --> 00:15:47.640
"Peas...you don't have to do this..." Josh begs.

00:15:47.640 --> 00:15:51.080
"Cress, I do." The Fudge says somberly.

00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:55.040
Should he make a run for it again? 
He won't get far if this execucumber  

00:15:55.040 --> 00:16:01.520
decides to chase after him. No, better to 
face his demise with some shred of dignity.

00:16:01.520 --> 00:16:06.360
"May cod have mercy on your 
soul." The fudge remarks.

00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:12.000
The execucumber reaches Josh, and much to 
his shock and horror, it opens its mouth.  

00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:16.400
Cucumbers shouldn't have mouths! But none 
of what's happened today should happen. The  

00:16:16.400 --> 00:16:23.280
mouth opens wide, impossibly wide, and all 
at once the execucumber swallows Josh whole.  

00:16:23.280 --> 00:16:29.200
Just as he has lived a life devouring 
food, now the food is devouring him.  

00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:35.360
He screams once, before the sound 
is muffled and the room goes silent.

00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:41.160
The fudge bangs his gavel one more time. "Food 
court is dismissed." One by one the members of  

00:16:41.160 --> 00:16:47.320
the jury file out, and the room is empty. From 
the perspective of the food court employees,  

00:16:47.320 --> 00:16:51.600
no time at all has passed. A man 
bought a pizza, sat down to eat it,  

00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:56.040
and blipped out of existence. It's a bit 
weird, but it happens all the time here.  

00:16:56.040 --> 00:16:58.840
There's a reason they've all been told to 
take their lunch breaks in the parking lot.  

00:16:59.640 --> 00:17:05.040
No one has ever bothered to question it. 
Or if they did, they disappeared too.

00:17:05.040 --> 00:17:09.840
Several months later, the SCP Foundation begins 
to connect a series of unsolved missing persons  

00:17:09.840 --> 00:17:14.640
cases to this particular mall. Upon reviewing 
security footage from the building, they uncover  

00:17:14.640 --> 00:17:20.360
the footage of Josh's trial and realize exactly 
what has happened to all of these missing people.  

00:17:20.360 --> 00:17:26.440
More likely than not, they too were found guilty 
and sentenced to the same fate. The mall is  

00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:33.080
quickly closed off from the public, and the food 
court is given the official designation SCP-5847.

00:17:33.080 --> 00:17:37.320
SCP-5847 is the food court of the 
Rhodes Plaza Mall in Newcastle,  

00:17:37.320 --> 00:17:41.520
Australia. The anomalous effects 
of this location are twofold.

00:17:41.520 --> 00:17:47.680
First, whenever a subject consumes food inside 
of SCP-5847, the location will transform into  

00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:55.840
a courtroom, also known as SCP-5847-1. 
This courtroom is filled with SCP-5847-2,  

00:17:55.840 --> 00:18:00.400
or sapient, animate foods. These 
foods resemble their non-anomalous  

00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:04.160
counterparts in appearance, but 
are able to perceive, vocalize,  

00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:09.280
and locomote. Research into how these foods 
are able to do this is currently ongoing.

00:18:09.280 --> 00:18:15.960
In a theory yet to be confirmed, it has been 
proposed that the instances of SCP-5847-2 are all  

00:18:15.960 --> 00:18:20.440
foods that the subject has eaten throughout their 
life up to that point, particularly their favorite  

00:18:20.440 --> 00:18:26.880
foods. Once someone is inside of SCP-5847-1, 
they will transform into a perfectly-rendered  

00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:32.280
facsimile of their original appearance, created 
from what appears to be thick cake icing.

00:18:32.280 --> 00:18:34.640
There, in front of a jury of their previous meals,  

00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:39.240
the subject must defend the fact that they eat 
and have eaten food to a judge that appears to  

00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:44.160
be made from a large piece of sugar candy. 
Then, they will either be found not guilty,  

00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:48.200
and free to go, at which point the room 
transforms back into a food court and the  

00:18:48.200 --> 00:18:55.200
subject returns to human form, or...they will 
be found guilty. And you know how that goes.

00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:59.720
It appears that these sentient food beings are 
strict adherents to the death penalty, at least  

00:18:59.720 --> 00:19:04.680
when it comes to "crimes against Humunchkind." 
The secondary anomalous effect, which may go  

00:19:04.680 --> 00:19:09.840
unnoticed at first amidst the more obviously 
strange happenings, is that anyone inside of the  

00:19:09.840 --> 00:19:14.760
courtroom is subject to a memetic effect that 
causes them to unintentionally replace words  

00:19:14.760 --> 00:19:19.920
they say with the names of various foods. They 
are, without their knowledge or prior consent,  

00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:26.360
forced to make various food-based puns, no 
matter how much of a stretch those puns might be.

00:19:26.360 --> 00:19:31.200
The Rhodes Plaza Mall has been bought and 
repurposed into Foundation Site-86. There  

00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:35.240
are two guards stationed at each entrance 
to the facility, and no food may be brought  

00:19:35.240 --> 00:19:41.560
into SCP-5847 under any circumstances. If it's 
time for your lunch break, you'd better take it  

00:19:41.560 --> 00:19:47.760
outside. Otherwise, you might find yourself 
taking the stand. The taco stand, that is. 

00:19:47.760 --> 00:19:52.160
Check out the Doctor Bob Patreon and become 
a junior researcher today! Now go and watch  

00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:58.640
another entry from the files of Doctor Bob, like 
SCP-2789 - Evil Fast Food (Self-Replicating)