WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.299 --> 00:00:05.920 Billionaire CEO Jeff Bezos is running for his life, arms and legs pumping as fast as 00:00:05.920 --> 00:00:07.620 they will go. 00:00:07.620 --> 00:00:10.509 Behind him, he can hear the mob advancing, closing in. 00:00:10.509 --> 00:00:14.559 He has to lose them, has to find a way to throw them off the trail. 00:00:14.559 --> 00:00:17.010 Up ahead, an opportunity presents itself. 00:00:17.010 --> 00:00:19.740 A narrow alleyway. 00:00:19.740 --> 00:00:23.850 He ducks down the alley, heart pounding in his chest as he listens to the footsteps of 00:00:23.850 --> 00:00:25.990 his pursuers sprint past him. 00:00:25.990 --> 00:00:27.330 They're gone. 00:00:27.330 --> 00:00:28.670 He's safe. 00:00:28.670 --> 00:00:30.009 For now. 00:00:30.009 --> 00:00:34.559 He takes a moment to catch his breath, vision swimming from the panic and exhaustion, and 00:00:34.559 --> 00:00:37.480 suddenly catches a metallic glint out of the corner of his eye. 00:00:37.480 --> 00:00:39.020 Uh oh. 00:00:39.020 --> 00:00:41.110 He's not as alone as he thought he was. 00:00:41.110 --> 00:00:45.390 He straightens and prepares to defend himself from the strange, wild-eyed man at the other 00:00:45.390 --> 00:00:46.960 side of the alley. 00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:53.100 The man who is slowly advancing toward him, holding a knife...and a fork. 00:00:53.100 --> 00:00:57.660 When it comes to the lifestyles of the ultra-wealthy, many of us struggle to wrap our minds around 00:00:57.660 --> 00:00:59.760 what they might get up to during the day. 00:00:59.760 --> 00:01:05.590 Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, what do these famous billionaires do with their time? 00:01:05.590 --> 00:01:10.120 Profiles of the industry giants paint a picture of early morning and green juice, of long 00:01:10.120 --> 00:01:13.470 meetings and business trips to exotic locales. 00:01:13.470 --> 00:01:16.159 For Jeff Bezos, that's a pretty accurate picture. 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:18.970 Or at least...it used to be. 00:01:18.970 --> 00:01:25.640 On one fateful day, the Amazon CEO found his extraordinary ordinary routine turned completely 00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:26.820 upside down. 00:01:26.820 --> 00:01:32.270 In a series of bizarre, terrifying events, the dream life of a tech billionaire became 00:01:32.270 --> 00:01:33.950 a nightmare. 00:01:33.950 --> 00:01:36.200 The day started like pretty much any other. 00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:41.270 Jeff climbed out of bed at 6:30 AM, honoring his personal motto of "early to bed, early 00:01:41.270 --> 00:01:42.320 to rise." 00:01:42.320 --> 00:01:45.979 This left him with the morning to himself so he could take his time settling into the 00:01:45.979 --> 00:01:47.130 day. 00:01:47.130 --> 00:01:50.100 He brewed a pot of coffee and read the newspaper for a while. 00:01:50.100 --> 00:01:53.060 When the kids woke up, he whipped up a batch of pancakes for them. 00:01:53.060 --> 00:01:58.000 Then, at 10 AM, it was time to leave the kids with the nanny and head off to work. 00:01:58.000 --> 00:01:59.509 First, a meeting with the shareholders. 00:01:59.509 --> 00:02:03.250 Then, a lunch meeting with the head of a company he was considering purchasing. 00:02:03.250 --> 00:02:08.009 Then, it was time to drop in on an Amazon fulfillment center for a surprise visit. 00:02:08.009 --> 00:02:12.120 After all, who doesn't love unexpectedly seeing their boss's boss's boss in the middle of 00:02:12.120 --> 00:02:14.070 a busy work day? 00:02:14.070 --> 00:02:18.150 When he arrived, Jeff greeted everyone, and then took the Operations Manager aside for 00:02:18.150 --> 00:02:19.709 a one-on-one meeting. 00:02:19.709 --> 00:02:23.290 He wanted to check in about productivity and all the usual things. 00:02:23.290 --> 00:02:25.180 Were employees taking too many bathroom breaks? 00:02:25.180 --> 00:02:27.209 How quickly could they move packages? 00:02:27.209 --> 00:02:29.530 Just standard questions. 00:02:29.530 --> 00:02:34.320 But as he talked, he couldn't help but notice his employee's eyes glazing over a bit. 00:02:34.320 --> 00:02:38.770 He asked the man if he was feeling alright, but the Manager assured Jeff that he was just 00:02:38.770 --> 00:02:39.770 hungry. 00:02:39.770 --> 00:02:43.280 It was almost his lunch break, and he was looking forward to the leftover meatloaf waiting 00:02:43.280 --> 00:02:44.280 for him. 00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:48.519 Well, Jeff wanted the man to be focused during their meeting, so he offered to go ahead and 00:02:48.519 --> 00:02:50.300 start the lunch break now. 00:02:50.300 --> 00:02:54.610 After all, the ideal lunch break is one that you're also working during. 00:02:54.610 --> 00:02:58.640 They sat down in the break room together, and Jeff could hear the man's stomach growling. 00:02:58.640 --> 00:03:01.400 He wasn't kidding about being hungry! 00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:06.250 But the cold meatloaf would surely sate his hunger and get the conversation back on track. 00:03:06.250 --> 00:03:10.720 The man picked at his meatloaf while Jeff continued speaking, delivering an inspirational 00:03:10.720 --> 00:03:14.180 speech on improving metrics and worker efficiency. 00:03:14.180 --> 00:03:18.340 As he became more passionate, as he often did when talking about efficiency, he began 00:03:18.340 --> 00:03:20.569 to gesticulate more dramatically. 00:03:20.569 --> 00:03:24.989 As he became lost in his own brilliant words and corporate wisdom, he didn't notice the 00:03:24.989 --> 00:03:30.760 Operations Manager abandoning the meatloaf entirely, staring instead at Jeff's hand, 00:03:30.760 --> 00:03:34.110 which was drifting closer and closer to his face. 00:03:34.110 --> 00:03:37.590 Jeff was just about to reach the conclusion of his point, and send the employee on his 00:03:37.590 --> 00:03:41.760 merry way, when the Operations Manager all of a sudden snatched Jeff's hand out of the 00:03:41.760 --> 00:03:45.209 air, pulled it in close, and bit down- hard. 00:03:45.209 --> 00:03:49.459 Jeff yanked his hand from the other man's grasp, crying out in pain and shock. 00:03:49.459 --> 00:03:53.849 He'd had employees respond poorly to feedback before, but never like this! 00:03:53.849 --> 00:03:56.379 Usually, they just cried or threatened to quit. 00:03:56.379 --> 00:03:59.110 No one had ever bitten him before! 00:03:59.110 --> 00:04:03.030 He demanded an explanation for this behavior, which was certainly not appropriate for the 00:04:03.030 --> 00:04:04.030 workplace! 00:04:04.030 --> 00:04:07.099 The Operations Manager blinked, brow furrowed in confusion. 00:04:07.099 --> 00:04:12.040 He couldn't articulate why he had done it, what had possessed him to grab the CEO's hand 00:04:12.040 --> 00:04:13.650 and attempt to chow down. 00:04:13.650 --> 00:04:20.100 He offered up the only explanation he could: He was hungry, and Jeff looked delicious. 00:04:20.100 --> 00:04:23.520 The words sent a chill down the billionaire's spine. 00:04:23.520 --> 00:04:25.720 He stood up and excused himself from the meeting. 00:04:25.720 --> 00:04:28.180 He left the fulfillment center and left work for the day. 00:04:28.180 --> 00:04:31.340 In fact, he left town altogether. 00:04:31.340 --> 00:04:34.380 This was all too much, and he needed a vacation. 00:04:34.380 --> 00:04:37.720 He called the nanny to let her know he wouldn't be coming home for a little while. 00:04:37.720 --> 00:04:41.280 No need for him to need to pack a bag, anything he needed he could purchase when he arrived 00:04:41.280 --> 00:04:44.169 at whatever luxury hotel he settled on. 00:04:44.169 --> 00:04:48.310 He called up his favorite pilot, told him to pick a destination with an exclusive, private 00:04:48.310 --> 00:04:53.080 resort- something with a spa so he could relax, and within the hour, he was sitting on his 00:04:53.080 --> 00:04:55.440 private jet, preparing for takeoff. 00:04:55.440 --> 00:04:59.310 When the jet reached cruising altitude, one of the usual flight attendants came to his 00:04:59.310 --> 00:05:01.520 seat, pouring him a glass of red wine. 00:05:01.520 --> 00:05:05.800 One of the nicer bottles onboard, as she could tell he was having a difficult day. 00:05:05.800 --> 00:05:07.900 She also offered a variety of snacks. 00:05:07.900 --> 00:05:12.910 This was no commercial airline with its peanuts and pretzels, this was a luxury craft with 00:05:12.910 --> 00:05:14.449 luxury snacks. 00:05:14.449 --> 00:05:18.770 Crostini with French butter and freshly shaved truffles, a charcuterie board with the finest 00:05:18.770 --> 00:05:23.560 meats and cheeses, fresh fruit, and chilled oysters were all on the menu. 00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:27.449 Jeff treated himself to a little nibble or two, finished his wine, and kicked back for 00:05:27.449 --> 00:05:28.460 a nap. 00:05:28.460 --> 00:05:33.350 He awoke sometime later, not to the comforting feeling of the jet's smooth landing, but to 00:05:33.350 --> 00:05:36.780 an odd...greasy sensation on his arm. 00:05:36.780 --> 00:05:40.470 He opened his eyes, to find the same flight attendant spreading some of that French butter 00:05:40.470 --> 00:05:44.270 onto his forearm, before shaving some of the black truffle onto the skin. 00:05:44.270 --> 00:05:48.570 All the while, she was licking her lips, a ravenous look in her eye like someone about 00:05:48.570 --> 00:05:51.470 to cut into a beautiful cut of Kobe beef. 00:05:51.470 --> 00:05:54.150 Jeff shook her off of him, shouting at her to stop. 00:05:54.150 --> 00:05:58.020 Thankfully, the plane touched down before she could try anything else, and he disembarked 00:05:58.020 --> 00:06:02.440 as quickly as possible, grabbing a hot towel on the way out to wipe the butter from his 00:06:02.440 --> 00:06:03.440 arm. 00:06:03.440 --> 00:06:05.330 Was everyone losing their minds today?! 00:06:05.330 --> 00:06:09.169 Good thing he was somewhere he could relax and forget about his troubles for a little 00:06:09.169 --> 00:06:10.169 while. 00:06:10.169 --> 00:06:13.479 He had been to this particular resort and spa before, whenever he needed a bit of a 00:06:13.479 --> 00:06:15.210 physical and emotional tune-up. 00:06:15.210 --> 00:06:19.919 He accepted his complimentary glass of champagne from the check-in desk, and after reserving 00:06:19.919 --> 00:06:24.220 the finest suite available, he headed down to the spa to start putting the chaos and 00:06:24.220 --> 00:06:26.120 oddities of the day behind him. 00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:30.520 It was impossible to be stressed out in a place like this, with the soothing music, 00:06:30.520 --> 00:06:35.190 the aromatherapeutic scents pumped into the room, and, of course, the spa's patented herbally 00:06:35.190 --> 00:06:37.539 infused hot springs. 00:06:37.539 --> 00:06:40.990 Naturally occurring hot springs water was pumped into private baths, and filled with 00:06:40.990 --> 00:06:45.509 a variety of herbs with calming properties, including sage and rosemary. 00:06:45.509 --> 00:06:49.520 The attendant handed Jeff a towel and a fluffy white robe for after his soak, and with a 00:06:49.520 --> 00:06:53.480 sigh of relief, he settled into the steaming, herbaceous water. 00:06:53.480 --> 00:06:56.310 He didn't notice that the attendant hadn't left the room yet. 00:06:56.310 --> 00:07:00.990 He was too busy relaxing, closing his eyes, and letting his troubles drift away. 00:07:00.990 --> 00:07:06.090 He stretched out his legs, feeling the muscles uncoil and release their tension, feeling 00:07:06.090 --> 00:07:09.340 the bits of fresh herbs in the bath tickle his skin. 00:07:09.340 --> 00:07:15.530 He took a deep breath, savoring the fresh scent of the sage, the rosemary, the...garlic? 00:07:15.530 --> 00:07:21.949 Well, garlic did have some anti-inflammatory properties; perhaps this was a new part of 00:07:21.949 --> 00:07:22.949 the treatment. 00:07:22.949 --> 00:07:26.870 He settled back into the experience again, trying to clear his mind. 00:07:26.870 --> 00:07:31.880 But as he struggled to maintain his relaxation, he became distinctly aware that the soak was 00:07:31.880 --> 00:07:37.400 becoming...well, he could only describe it as "chunky." 00:07:37.400 --> 00:07:40.870 He opened his eyes and discovered that, in addition to the herbs and garlic, there were 00:07:40.870 --> 00:07:45.759 now slices of onion floating through the water, along with chunks of carrot and potato. 00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:50.030 There, at the other side of the large tub, the attendant was sprinkling salt and pepper 00:07:50.030 --> 00:07:51.700 into the water! 00:07:51.700 --> 00:07:53.879 This wasn't a soak at all! 00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:55.440 It was soup! 00:07:55.440 --> 00:07:57.629 It was Jeff Bezos soup! 00:07:57.629 --> 00:08:01.430 The attendant was just dipping a spoon into the water to taste the broth when Jeff pulled 00:08:01.430 --> 00:08:04.970 him into the water, using the sudden distraction to make a run for it. 00:08:04.970 --> 00:08:08.419 He didn't have time to grab the robe, just throwing the towel around his waist and getting 00:08:08.419 --> 00:08:10.129 out of there as quickly as possible. 00:08:10.129 --> 00:08:14.500 He tore through the spa, ignoring the signs that urged guests not to run in the area. 00:08:14.500 --> 00:08:16.750 There was no time to play by the rules! 00:08:16.750 --> 00:08:20.520 But he didn't consider why those rules might be in place. 00:08:20.520 --> 00:08:25.460 Not until his feet slipped on the wet, slick floor, and he crashed to the ground. 00:08:25.460 --> 00:08:28.800 His head hit the tile, and everything went dark. 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:34.200 When Jeff opened his eyes again, he was sitting in a doctor's office, wearing a hospital gown. 00:08:34.200 --> 00:08:39.370 A doctor was taking his vitals and greeted him when she saw the CEO regaining consciousness. 00:08:39.370 --> 00:08:43.870 He had, she explained, sustained a mild concussion when he hit his head in the spa. 00:08:43.870 --> 00:08:47.780 The hotel staff had brought him into a nearby Urgent Care facility, unsure of what else 00:08:47.780 --> 00:08:48.780 to do. 00:08:48.780 --> 00:08:50.690 Luckily, his injuries weren't too bad. 00:08:50.690 --> 00:08:55.850 He would experience a bit of dizziness, maybe some nausea, but he was going to be just fine. 00:08:55.850 --> 00:08:57.590 Jeff was inclined to disagree. 00:08:57.590 --> 00:09:00.660 He didn't think that he would be just fine. 00:09:00.660 --> 00:09:03.920 He explained to the doctor that something terrible was going on, something that was 00:09:03.920 --> 00:09:05.529 going to sound crazy. 00:09:05.529 --> 00:09:12.000 For some reason, everywhere he went today, people were trying to, well, eat him. 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:13.970 The doctor looked at him with a knowing smile. 00:09:13.970 --> 00:09:15.790 She understood, she told him. 00:09:15.790 --> 00:09:17.840 He was under so much pressure all the time. 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:21.640 It couldn't be easy, being one of the richest men in the world, the head of one of the largest 00:09:21.640 --> 00:09:23.000 companies out there. 00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:26.149 The stress was getting to him; it made sense. 00:09:26.149 --> 00:09:30.080 But there was no way that people were really trying to eat him; that was absurd. 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:34.250 She offered to give him a sedative, something to take the edge off and help him to calm 00:09:34.250 --> 00:09:36.810 down, and focus on recovering from his injuries. 00:09:36.810 --> 00:09:41.760 Reluctantly, he agreed, and she left the room for a moment to prepare the injection. 00:09:41.760 --> 00:09:45.070 He took a deep breath, struggling to center himself. 00:09:45.070 --> 00:09:48.550 She was right, of course; there weren't people trying to eat him. 00:09:48.550 --> 00:09:52.290 When ordinary people said "eat the rich," they didn't mean it literally, right? 00:09:52.290 --> 00:09:56.079 They just meant that he should start paying taxes or something silly like that. 00:09:56.079 --> 00:09:59.350 They weren't actually trying to cook him and devour his flesh. 00:09:59.350 --> 00:10:00.960 That would be insane. 00:10:00.960 --> 00:10:04.810 The doctor came back into the room, and Jeff was just beginning to believe it might be 00:10:04.810 --> 00:10:07.390 true; that this might all be in his head. 00:10:07.390 --> 00:10:14.140 But then he looked at the object in her hand and saw not a syringe but...a turkey baster. 00:10:14.140 --> 00:10:15.270 No! 00:10:15.270 --> 00:10:16.800 The doctor was in on it! 00:10:16.800 --> 00:10:18.240 Was nowhere safe?! 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:21.630 He barreled out of the office, knocking the doctor to the floor as he went. 00:10:21.630 --> 00:10:24.240 He needed to get to the authorities, surely they could help him. 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:28.080 He ran to the nearest police station, bursting through the doors and blurting out his story 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:30.300 to the first officer he saw. 00:10:30.300 --> 00:10:31.560 There was only one problem. 00:10:31.560 --> 00:10:33.940 They didn't know who he was. 00:10:33.940 --> 00:10:38.279 All the police officers saw was a barefoot man in a hospital gown, with no identification 00:10:38.279 --> 00:10:42.630 on him, claiming that he was CEO Jeff Bezos, and a bunch of different people were trying 00:10:42.630 --> 00:10:43.630 to eat him. 00:10:43.630 --> 00:10:47.570 They laughed him out of the station, but not before threatening to place him into an involuntary 00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:49.490 hold at a psych hospital. 00:10:49.490 --> 00:10:50.899 Jeff couldn't let that happen. 00:10:50.899 --> 00:10:53.060 Locked up somewhere with no way out? 00:10:53.060 --> 00:10:57.300 That would be the perfect place for someone to corner him, to capture him, and cook him 00:10:57.300 --> 00:10:58.300 up for dinner. 00:10:58.300 --> 00:11:00.090 No, he couldn't let that happen. 00:11:00.090 --> 00:11:04.500 He fled the police station, and found himself wandering the streets, unsure of what to do, 00:11:04.500 --> 00:11:05.600 where to go. 00:11:05.600 --> 00:11:06.850 He had nothing with him. 00:11:06.850 --> 00:11:10.080 No money, no phone, no hope. 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:14.269 None of his usual staff were there, he couldn't call a car, couldn't pay for a taxi. 00:11:14.269 --> 00:11:17.640 And most importantly, he couldn't trust anyone. 00:11:17.640 --> 00:11:21.079 As Jeff walked down the street, muttering to himself and struggling to come up with 00:11:21.079 --> 00:11:25.220 a plan of action, he began to notice that he was drawing a bit of a crowd. 00:11:25.220 --> 00:11:29.750 It made sense; he certainly was a bizarre sight, the nearly-naked man talking to himself 00:11:29.750 --> 00:11:30.750 in the middle of the street. 00:11:30.750 --> 00:11:35.440 But the crowd had a look in their eyes that Jeff didn't like. 00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:37.570 They were licking their lips, rubbing their stomachs. 00:11:37.570 --> 00:11:39.300 Some of them drooled. 00:11:39.300 --> 00:11:44.589 They talked amongst themselves, first in hushed tones, but then louder, bolder, as they shared 00:11:44.589 --> 00:11:47.760 their homicidal hunger as a group. 00:11:47.760 --> 00:11:51.579 They were discussing ways to prepare him, what would taste the best. 00:11:51.579 --> 00:11:55.630 One woman wanted to make him into a chicken-fried Jeff steak, dunking him in batter and frying 00:11:55.630 --> 00:11:57.579 him up in a pan. 00:11:57.579 --> 00:12:01.550 Another suggested they stuff him full of mushrooms and bake him in a red wine reduction. 00:12:01.550 --> 00:12:05.079 One man argued that they should keep it simple and just grill him with a little bit of salt 00:12:05.079 --> 00:12:07.790 and pepper to allow the meat to retain its natural flavor. 00:12:07.790 --> 00:12:13.990 But they all agreed on one thing: They wanted to catch Jeff so that they could prepare him 00:12:13.990 --> 00:12:15.760 for consumption. 00:12:15.760 --> 00:12:20.670 At this point, there was only one thought left in Jeff Bezos’s head: Run. 00:12:20.670 --> 00:12:21.670 And so he did. 00:12:21.670 --> 00:12:25.630 He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, bare feet tripping over the uneven, rough 00:12:25.630 --> 00:12:26.650 terrain. 00:12:26.650 --> 00:12:30.839 His recently concussed head was aching and spinning, and he felt his stomach turn, but 00:12:30.839 --> 00:12:33.000 he had to keep running. 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:36.329 The mob chased after him, grasping at him with greedy hands. 00:12:36.329 --> 00:12:40.019 Some of them were unarmed, others wielded knives, forks, meat cleavers. 00:12:40.019 --> 00:12:44.930 Some had brought condiments with them, attempting to spray him with ketchup, mustard, barbecue 00:12:44.930 --> 00:12:45.930 sauce. 00:12:45.930 --> 00:12:49.610 He felt something hit him and looked down at his shirt to see a spray of red. 00:12:49.610 --> 00:12:54.270 At first, he worried it was blood, but a quick taste revealed that it was marinara sauce 00:12:54.270 --> 00:12:55.270 instead. 00:12:55.270 --> 00:12:57.220 Somehow, that was even worse. 00:12:57.220 --> 00:13:01.370 Up ahead, he could see an alley, somewhere he could duck in and hopefully avoid the mob. 00:13:01.370 --> 00:13:05.350 He managed to tuck and roll out of the way, the mob's momentum carrying them past the 00:13:05.350 --> 00:13:08.240 alley as Jeff disappeared into its darkness. 00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:10.130 But he wasn't alone there. 00:13:10.130 --> 00:13:15.280 A man was waiting for him, with a knife, a fork, and an appetite. 00:13:15.280 --> 00:13:16.290 He was cornered. 00:13:16.290 --> 00:13:20.440 Did this spell doom for Jeff Bezos? 00:13:20.440 --> 00:13:24.580 As he prepared to face that grim possibility, suddenly someone behind Jeff called for the 00:13:24.580 --> 00:13:26.370 would-be assailant to drop his weapons. 00:13:26.370 --> 00:13:29.190 He did, eyes wide with fear. 00:13:29.190 --> 00:13:34.660 Jeff turned around and saw a man in a uniform, like a military but not any military organization 00:13:34.660 --> 00:13:38.670 he recognized, brandishing a similarly unrecognizable weapon. 00:13:38.670 --> 00:13:42.800 The attacker fled the scene, and the man in uniform introduced himself to Jeff. 00:13:42.800 --> 00:13:46.860 He was from a special organization, he explained, called the SCP Foundation. 00:13:46.860 --> 00:13:51.660 They were responsible for investigating strange happenings, and Jeff had found himself as 00:13:51.660 --> 00:13:55.019 the focal point of a very strange happening indeed. 00:13:55.019 --> 00:13:59.230 Jeff Bezos processed this new information quickly, and offered a handshake to the SCP 00:13:59.230 --> 00:14:00.720 Foundation officer. 00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:04.959 Would this Foundation, he asked, be interested in a business partnership? 00:14:04.959 --> 00:14:10.759 SCP-5821 is a persistent memetic effect impacting the entire human population of Earth, which 00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:16.410 causes the belief that the flesh of Jeffrey Preston Bezos, Billionaire Founder, CEO, and 00:14:16.410 --> 00:14:21.570 President of Amazon.com, Inc, is the best and most desirable meat for human consumption. 00:14:21.570 --> 00:14:23.519 Sorry, I misspoke there. 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:31.790 The effect impacts every human on Earth except for Jeff Bezos himself, also known as SCP-5821-1. 00:14:31.790 --> 00:14:36.500 Only a small number are affected enough to act on it, attempting to assassinate and cannibalize 00:14:36.500 --> 00:14:39.410 SCP-5821-1. 00:14:39.410 --> 00:14:43.649 Memetic Degradation Analysis has been performed by Foundation researchers, placing the point 00:14:43.649 --> 00:14:49.839 of origin for the memetic property at some time between April and August of 1997. 00:14:49.839 --> 00:14:54.350 Since this time, the meme has increased in strength and reach, with more and more individuals 00:14:54.350 --> 00:14:57.750 succumbing to its effects and acting on it violently. 00:14:57.750 --> 00:15:03.430 After becoming aware of its effects, SCP-5821-1 has been cooperating with Foundation containment 00:15:03.430 --> 00:15:08.709 efforts and has established a friendly relationship with the SCP Foundation as a whole. 00:15:08.709 --> 00:15:13.630 SCP-5821-1 has played an unprecedented role in devising measures to contain the anomaly 00:15:13.630 --> 00:15:17.959 that impacts him, collaborating directly with the Foundation in order to decide on the best 00:15:17.959 --> 00:15:19.730 course of action. 00:15:19.730 --> 00:15:26.440 Currently, SCP-5821 is contained by PTF-Lambda-27, "Amazon Brigade", who prevent any individuals 00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:31.839 from attacking Bezos or, as would be the natural conclusion of these attacks, cooking and eating 00:15:31.839 --> 00:15:32.850 him. 00:15:32.850 --> 00:15:36.970 Members of this group must be rotated out periodically so that they do not succumb to 00:15:36.970 --> 00:15:42.920 the effects of SCP-5821 and use their proximity to carry out an attack of their own. 00:15:42.920 --> 00:15:47.000 From what I can gather, there has been a great deal of debate amongst Foundation researchers 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:50.959 regarding the best way to adjust containment procedures moving forward. 00:15:50.959 --> 00:15:55.389 Some have suggested that dissolving Bezos's corporation and stripping him of his assets 00:15:55.389 --> 00:15:58.820 might take some of this memetic effect's power away. 00:15:58.820 --> 00:16:03.459 Others disagree, though whether that is the result of sincerely held scientific conclusions 00:16:03.459 --> 00:16:08.089 or an appreciation for the monetary donations Bezos has made to the Organization remains 00:16:08.089 --> 00:16:09.440 to be seen. 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:15.279 A memo from O5-7 was attached to the official file, regarding some new proposals for SCP-5821 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:16.279 containment. 00:16:16.279 --> 00:16:17.800 The contents read: 00:16:17.800 --> 00:16:22.600 "It has come to my attention that some alternate containment proposals have recently been discussed. 00:16:22.600 --> 00:16:27.490 I am saddened to inform you that, while your initiative in devising new and exciting methods 00:16:27.490 --> 00:16:32.870 of containment is commendable, the containment of SCP-5821 will not be subject to change 00:16:32.870 --> 00:16:34.370 for the foreseeable future. 00:16:34.370 --> 00:16:40.399 The models predicting the total domination of the human psyche by SCP-5821 by 2050, while 00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:45.209 alarming, are still very new, and consensus has not been reached by Foundation predictive 00:16:45.209 --> 00:16:49.741 divisions (I personally can tell you that some sources known to the O5 council suggest 00:16:49.741 --> 00:16:51.899 that the meme may perhaps be dissipating). 00:16:51.899 --> 00:16:56.910 As such, drastic, unproven measures such as Foundation seizure of the Amazon corporation 00:16:56.910 --> 00:17:02.970 or the dissolution of SCP-5821-1's assets simply cannot be justified, to say nothing 00:17:02.970 --> 00:17:04.850 of possible assassination! 00:17:04.850 --> 00:17:08.530 To address a specific point of contention some of you brought up, while letting the 00:17:08.530 --> 00:17:13.049 subject of an anomaly weigh in on the methods and intricacies of its containment may be 00:17:13.049 --> 00:17:18.240 unorthodox, trust me when I say it's for the greater good. 00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:22.930 SCP-5821-1 understands intimately the difficulties the Foundation faces in containing the dangerous 00:17:22.930 --> 00:17:28.190 anomalies that threaten our world and has generously compensated us for resources used. 00:17:28.190 --> 00:17:33.000 I understand fully that this may be difficult and confusing for you, and following the conclusion 00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:37.380 of my Caribbean yacht cruise, I am willing to take the time to discuss this issue one-on-one 00:17:37.380 --> 00:17:41.030 with anyone who continues to take grievance with these actions. 00:17:41.030 --> 00:17:43.570 Sincerely, O5-7." 00:17:43.570 --> 00:17:49.240 Following the release of this memo, an unusual phenomenon began to take hold among the SCP-5821 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:50.240 research staff. 00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:55.010 Several of them now expressed a strong desire to consume the flesh of O5-7. 00:17:55.010 --> 00:18:03.120 Somehow, through cooperation with SCP-5821-1, O5-7 has been infected with the same anomalous 00:18:03.120 --> 00:18:04.280 property. 00:18:04.280 --> 00:18:08.570 To be perfectly honest, I think it might be best if I conclude my research into this topic 00:18:08.570 --> 00:18:14.929 here, because the more I think about it, the tastier these two are starting to look to 00:18:14.929 --> 00:18:15.929 me. 00:18:15.929 --> 00:18:17.610 If you'll excuse me, I'm off to order some dinner. 00:18:17.610 --> 00:18:18.750 I think… 00:18:18.750 --> 00:18:22.030 something vegetarian tonight. 00:18:22.030 --> 00:18:25.460 Check out the Dr. Bob Patreon and become a junior researcher today! 00:18:25.460 --> 00:18:32.020 Now go and watch another entry from the files of Dr. Bob, like "SCP-4003 - On Cowboys, Catholicism, 00:18:32.020 --> 00:18:33.239 and the Cretaceous!"