WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Pew: What's up GAMERS?

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You like video games?

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(In a shitty ad voice) 
Wha~at? But you never played tuber - hehe

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Pewd: We're here to review E3 2019

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Xbox , Playsta-

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I didn't look at PlayStation, 
Did they have theirs yet?

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Waman: Sony isn't attending E3 2019.

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Pewds: Oh, okay well that saves
 me some time, Jesus (Skratta)

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Let's start off with Bethesda

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Guy 1: With a game, there is no 
"game" without the Players.

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Guy 2: Really, it all comes down to you

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Guy 1: You keep us in check!

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Pewds: You keep us in check, it's basically a code for:

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"Yeah, we made some shitty games"

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Guy 2: And through all of it,

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Waman 2: You're always there with us.

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Guy 3: You are definitely not afraid
 to tell us how you feel!

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Pewds: HAHAHHAHA 
*Has breakdown*

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What did Fallout 76 get in rating again?

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TWO POINT SEVE- *has multiple breakdowns*

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*Inhale*

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Oh my god

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BRUH

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Guy 1: Your feedback sometimes challenges us

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But it forces us to be- always challenging ourselves

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*Guy screams*

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Waman 2:You empathize with u-

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*Copies scream*

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Pewds: This whole- conference to me just sounded like:

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"We're- we're still friends right?
Sorry about that really bad game with it

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But, we're still cool right?
Like, w- we're all friends here?"

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ANNOUNCER: Our 5th annual 
E3 showcase. (Applause and cheers)

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DISSAPOINTED PEWDS: Get 
off the stage we want Todd!!!

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YEAAAAAHHHHHH

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It's Todd Howard! ^ㅅ^

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Todd: Great to see everybody!

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Pewds: Did you guys know Todd
Howard was in the chess club?

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TODD: Who's laughing now? (Laughs awkwardly)

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Yes, I was in the Chess Club.

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TODD: We have had an incredibly exciting 
year at Bethesda Game Studios.

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Given some of that excitement, 
(I'm) impressed You're still here.

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(Audience laughs)

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I. Love. Him. Hihi-ye-he-heah!

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All the bad games are totally fine, as long 
as Todd Howard makes a joke about it.

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See, that's the face you make 
when you have a game rated 2.7

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TODD: Actually, over the last year, we've had 
over 60 million players in our games

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Pewds: Wow :3

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If they have over 60 million play-

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How can we say something good about this situation?

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*Has autism*
Oh god! Anything.

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Oh we have this many players? O_O

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But did they have fun?

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We have a lot of players!!!

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Those core trend buzzwords mean like

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*Pewds imitates Bethesda*
"Everything is great! Er, Everything
 is good, we have lot of players!

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Whats that, only 41% of them like the game?

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But there were so many of them!

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TODD: A type of game (That) we've never done before

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Had a lot of difficulties at launch.

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Pewds: "We had a lot of difficulties at launch."

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Oh really? You don't say:

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"Could we edit it out-

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-Oh shit!

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-Oh my god! Oh!

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-I guess we can't edit it out, this means (inaudible)
-Holy shit!
- We're working shit hard.

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-That is amazing!
-Oh my god!
-What just happenned?

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-Alright. What's going on here?

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-Ohh no!

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-Yeah, I don't know what's up with that.

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-Ohhh what the heck?

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-Ruun, run

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-Whoooo!

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TODD: A lot of well deserved criticism

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(Crowd applauses)

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Pewds: Yeahh! your game not good

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TODD: The team kept working on it

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And YOU kept playing it

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Pewds: Well maybe if you stopped 
releasing unfinished games, TODD

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*Imitates Todd*
"But the development team 
were working on it and they were-"

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Pewds: They should have 
just done it from the beginning, Todd!

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You're making me angry Todd!

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And then, in comes these two guys

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I don't know, they just said a couple things

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And, one guy had an awkward laugh before

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*Creepy laugh*

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-Hi, I'm

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(HEheehhehe)

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It's kind of cute :). (laughs)

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(laughs awkwardly) Hehehehe

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(Hehheh)

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But speaking of cute...

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Thank you, ありがとうございます～("thank you")

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Crowd: woooo!

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Pwds: CUUTE!

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-Hahahaa

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00:03:46.460 --> 00:03:48.200
 

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I asked myself this question
every time I go to the office!

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Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding.

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We are very excited, let's take a look.
見てね～ ("take a look!")

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Thank you! Bye-bye!

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okay about the game
and then for some reason the yang

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started just amping up I don't know who
this guy is I don't know why people are

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so excited

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Thanks thank you everyone
wow thank you and gaming the Elder

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(random yeahs from the audience)

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Scrolls online has dragons dragons of
the world of Tamriel what happens next

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check out elsewhere the latest shackles
new players

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yeah well a necromancer everyone say
yeah everyone saying they had a paid

00:04:56.740 --> 00:05:01.510
audience they're clearly just trolling
like for then keep an eye out for a

00:05:01.510 --> 00:05:06.960
dungeon DLC adventure called scale
breaker which you'll see in August

00:05:07.710 --> 00:05:15.700
nobody Bethesda III crowd some more
awkward laughs anyone you would like

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some okay here we go

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you think I'm gonna talk about the games
really no one cares this is like we're

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talking about commercials then they
brought out the I think the most swedish

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person they could find after liberating
America from the Nazi scum in

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Wolfenstein to the new Colossus hello
everyone we don't all talk like that all

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right
after killing all the Nazi scum in this

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video game it there this year we take
you back to Europe with two new

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Wolfenstein games we take you back to
your why is it funny it's not even funny

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even more evil Nazis to kill Wow God
that was beautiful

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out of thousands of people in the
audience they're like okay that girl

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show her in the center now never seen
someone so enthusiastic you know that's

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a girlfriend being dragged into this
just kidding all these people they don't

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have girlfriends because they're gamers
brofist if you're a gamer too and then

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finally we get to the doom stuff that's
the good stuff that's right that's the

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game this whole time I mean like come on
dude

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you know it's innovation and creativity
is in our DNA and a very large neck

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Jesus Christ look at that thing my god
sorry and all of these advances work as

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a big net come on all right moving on we
got EA EA was so goddamn painful to

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watch it's four hours
give you give me the hot babes let's get

00:07:24.830 --> 00:07:28.460
it goin yeah yeah we're talking about
Star Wars they're making a Star Wars

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game it's Star Wars
it's a Star Wars game please keep it go

00:07:35.330 --> 00:07:40.940
and they're making a Star Wars game wow
that's so cool

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so the added Greg get Greg I know his
name is Greg instead of that guy from

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last year I guess they listened to
feedback so you know I gotta appreciate

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that EA the guy from last year I mean
come on why didn't you rehire him I

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don't understand

00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:07.989
bring back III 2018 guy come on it's
like they picked up they don't know the

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cringe right they're like alright how
can we reduce the cringe please I don't

00:08:11.979 --> 00:08:16.389
like yo everybody's anxious to see what
this 15 minutes is going to be listen we

00:08:16.389 --> 00:08:21.789
have more maps so let's deliver a brand
new one to you this is Alison dead yeah

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without the cream sisters boring I don't
care the fight no yeah you were supposed

00:08:27.759 --> 00:08:33.929
to deliver I'm so disappointed
we can't wait - let me play it

00:08:38.840 --> 00:08:45.030
yeah hahaha that's the true excitement
yeah come on this is why you need to

00:08:45.030 --> 00:08:56.730
hire the Ubisoft people she just want to
see if skate 4 is happening or not I get

00:08:56.730 --> 00:09:10.050
it on the same where we skateboard of
course we're gonna come to a play we've

00:09:10.050 --> 00:09:12.930
got a booth out there look at the guy in
the backcountry to play it you know

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doesn't matter what we think it only
matters what the players think they're

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the ones playing the game so if they
love it great and if they don't they'll

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tell us the feedback and we'll do our
best to address it well thank you Ben

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get back to work I want everybody right
now this is serious

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okay there's a serious your hands
together because joining us here on the

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stage here in just a moment is one of
the best wide receivers on the planet

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from the Pittsburgh Steelers from the
University of Southern California a

00:09:41.910 --> 00:09:47.340
hardcore mad and fan ladies and
gentlemen all the way in the back give

00:09:47.340 --> 00:10:00.120
it up for juju Smith juju us the juju of
course wow that's so sick I brought a

00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:04.200
couple of codes here for juju we're
gonna give juju some codes as well we're

00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:09.000
also gonna be sharing on social channels
check that out juju dispenser there he

00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:12.089
goes
those I don't know that you're gonna get

00:10:12.089 --> 00:10:17.220
those back that's kind of the point of
giving them out sorry okay okay we're

00:10:17.220 --> 00:10:20.819
gonna kick to somebody else for this
announcement oh yeah here's Joey

00:10:20.819 --> 00:10:31.079
Graceffa producer and content creator
youtuber I love this they learned from

00:10:31.079 --> 00:10:35.429
last year we need a youtuber for this
make a pretty recorded goddammit

00:10:35.429 --> 00:10:42.439
thank you yeah what up guys thank you
for having me EA and Need for Speed

00:10:42.439 --> 00:10:53.549
payback if you guys didn't know HP
payback I'm but um yeah it's great game

00:10:53.549 --> 00:10:57.929
and I'm so excited to announce this
upcoming partnership with one of my

00:10:57.929 --> 00:11:03.299
favorite games so this summer the Sims
is actually partnering with the UM this

00:11:03.299 --> 00:11:08.009
is why I'm proud to be a gamer this is
to me what gaming is all about

00:11:08.009 --> 00:11:11.549
where's his fucking gaming channel did
this become his gaming channel bring

00:11:11.549 --> 00:11:16.589
back shirtless Joey Graceffa gaming
please welcome back everyone to another

00:11:16.589 --> 00:11:25.019
episode of sim stem Anya so in the for
some reason seems that try to do a JK

00:11:25.019 --> 00:11:29.790
Rowling and pretended that they have
always been pro-ltte so this is a

00:11:29.790 --> 00:11:33.720
wonderful opportunity to bring new
content in the game to celebrate that

00:11:33.720 --> 00:11:38.160
definitely and I think also people don't
realize how important it is sometimes

00:11:38.160 --> 00:11:40.559
you know when you're kind of growing up
and you're figuring out who you are

00:11:40.559 --> 00:11:43.649
you're discovering what kind of person
you are and discovering you know about

00:11:43.649 --> 00:11:47.519
your sexuality and be able to kind of
sort of role play within games is a

00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:51.449
really really safe place to do that so
you know you guys have been doing it

00:11:51.449 --> 00:11:54.749
pretty much from the start way before
everyone else so it's really great I

00:11:54.749 --> 00:11:58.210
mean is that great to see so so great
yeah

00:11:58.210 --> 00:12:01.970
well it's something we're very proud of
and having what are you talking about

00:12:01.970 --> 00:12:09.950
then we have Xbox Xbox it's such a weird
cult around Xbox I really don't get it

00:12:09.950 --> 00:12:18.490
like these people in the crowd go in ok
bye

00:12:18.490 --> 00:12:22.610
yeah boo boo like overall he was a
pretty boring conference there's not

00:12:22.610 --> 00:12:28.070
much to say about it I didn't really
want letting to send a bird about

00:12:28.070 --> 00:12:33.370
anything oh my god it's Keanu Reeves yay

00:12:34.660 --> 00:12:40.600
oh my god he's there

00:12:46.370 --> 00:13:01.209
these welcome here uh-huh Keanu's the
best I love him so much

00:13:10.150 --> 00:13:21.130
oh my god the screams please Jesus stop
oh my god that was actually me I was

00:13:21.130 --> 00:13:25.660
there that would actually be me if I'm
in Canada but the best part of course

00:13:25.660 --> 00:13:30.850
let me tell you
was this the feeling of of being there

00:13:30.850 --> 00:13:45.130
of walking the streets of the future is
really going to be breathtaking did he

00:13:45.130 --> 00:13:50.890
just say embrace thank you
then my booty came out he's welcome

00:13:50.890 --> 00:13:53.950
there's nothing really to say about it
but his name is Matt booty so I thought

00:13:53.950 --> 00:13:58.060
it was worth it head of Xbox game
studios Matt

00:13:58.060 --> 00:14:03.730
Taha his name is bode September 10th oh
wow

00:14:03.730 --> 00:14:11.290
Gears of War 5 that's so awesome oh why
even bother then came in hello I'm

00:14:11.290 --> 00:14:21.010
French and I don't know what to do with
my hands hello everyone yes we've got

00:14:21.010 --> 00:14:26.830
your back
new content free updates and many

00:14:26.830 --> 00:14:32.840
surprises inspired by our community and
I was III pretty much in a nutshell 2019

00:14:32.840 --> 00:14:37.440
it's pretty disappointing I feel like
they've learned it's it's year they're