WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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My fellow comrades! It's me! PewDiePie!

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What's that? There's something different about me? Huh?

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It must be.. It must be the glasses.

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Oh, what? There's still something?

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Huh? It must be the merch! The new сука блять merch!

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Very nice!

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If you're a real сука check out the link in the description!

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Limited time available only!

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Now let's get on with the video,

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*awkward look*

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Why are you crying? (Your beard iS GONE!!)

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Listen up!

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Okay,
The beard meme was getting old

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and all memes must die...

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so stop crying, stop being such a baby,

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and stop crying do you wanna

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To look like this, huh?

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Pathetic. Why do I look 12? (TT you do)

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*chuckles*

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Then we're gonna take anything I say seriously now? *laughs*

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[14 year old self] Hey guys it's me PewDiePie from 2003!

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People keep saying we need to stop making dumb people famous! But I always say,

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But then who are we going to laugh at? Who are we supposed to ridicule and feel better about ourselves,

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because at least there's one person out there that is doing worse than me! From people like sexy vegan, to

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JacksFilms to, now, Woahvicky, remember Woahvicky? Vickywoah?

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The girl who thinks she's from african-american descent? "in this hotel. I knew it. I knew I was black girl."

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I mean how could you not remember such beauty and such grace?

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For those who you don't know who Woahwicky is, she's a master of motivational speech.

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"STAWP HATING! STOP, STOP THAT SHIT NOW, I LOVE EVERYBODY, I LOVE EVERYBODY, I LOVE YOU! STAWP HATING!"

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She's a master in the art of dancing....

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*dances like an idiot*

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aND,  a master swimmer!

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*holds nose* (pathetic)

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*beautiful laugh*

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It's my favorite clip! *Laughs*

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Let's see what she's been up to lately....

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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

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She was in a fight with Danielle Bregoli!

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What? The cash me outside girl! This is some really interesting news,

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It's like water, fighting water.

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[ clip of 2 female monkeys arguing ]

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Why is she wearing the hoodie like that? *laughs*

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[more arguing lol]

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Why is there a five-year-old there? What is happening?

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[more... and louder as the female monkeys argue more ]

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Where's your mom? *chuckles*

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Can someone tell me?

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*uncontrollable grinning*

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Why is there a little kid here? Jesus!

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[and more... ( Oo OO AH Aah) ]

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Martial artists will study this video, to learn the master fighting technique. That legend, every day,

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when Danielle Bregoli and Woahwicky had a fight.

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[more more...]

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Oh! But she comes from behind! And tries to hit WoahWicky right in her worst spot,

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which is where her hair is! A lot of people don't know this, but WoahWicky's  weak spot is located right there,

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I guess Daniel Bregoli must be studying us! Whoa-

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Whoa-

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*confused laugh*

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I don't know if I should laugh or cry at this, it's just so ridiculous,

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you have all these adults involved as well, but

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nothing really gets stopped. I don't know how this is even possible? Pewds from the future here! Sorry to interrupt,

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Have I told you about ASS?

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It's coming out on every console ever, in May! Check it out! Link in the description! Join the discord! Have some fun!

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Okay, keep going on with the video! (Thank youuu)

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WoahWicky of course, had the perfect response to this, in the most mature,

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well-mannered way possible, which is what I expect from, such a high class character like WoahWicky. Let's watch!

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Whoa-

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She's uh, showing off some of the, the moves that she.

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(couldn't hold the laugh in)

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That she displayed earlier in the fight.

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Brilliant stuff, really good technique there.

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you want to hit them as low and fast as possible.

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(some kind of stone age dancing)

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*swimming*

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Did she just lose the fight against herself there? What is happening?

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She's fighting air and she's losing... that bri-.... Well done.

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How do you fall from that??

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*struggling*

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*flapping legs*

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(frustrated dancing TT)

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It's really, it really, is the, the best way to display dominance is to just fight thin air.

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I can't stop thinking about the five-year-old, I need to find out... I need to find out who she is. LilTayyyyyy?

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Is that her?

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Is that her uh... profile pic?

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Okay, that's kind of brilliant. We live in a society. We truly live, in a society.

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[ Asian Dora the Explorer's Instagram video]

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(cringy stuff and swearing)

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*thinking about lil' tay*

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*blaming existence*

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*why are we still here?*

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*finally found the reason to not live*

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*finding his words*

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I feel like I'm not, I'm not allowed to say anything

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cuz she's, only NINE YEARS OLD

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but she's flexing your mommas rennnnt?

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[ Asian Dora the Explorer's Instagram video]

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I mean she's right about pretty much everything

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she says so I don't really know what, I don't really have any counter points or counter arguments here,

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that bed does cost more than a Lamborghini, and she does make more money than what my rent costs.

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(rich spoilt brat blabbing about money and car)

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I Feel like, anything that has lil in front of it has some sort of chromosome....

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deformity. There has to be some scientific research on that to prove that 'cause- *Laughs*

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(bragging brat and the car not her's)

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STOP HATING ON ME!!

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If you are flexing, then aren't you technically hating?

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I feel like this whole Instagram culture has just become.

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It- It started off as well (?) but now..

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It's ... It's like they realized they can monetize

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And they just play it up even more and, and then, you have all these, these, kids in the comments just hating like,

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(12 year olds) Oh, you're so stupid! You're a baby! Uhhhh, you need- you're so dumb!

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When they're obviously just portraying a character or....

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What's it called...?

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Exaggerating their whole, uh, shtick or whatever. You can see WoahWicky at the end of her video just smiling like "haha gotcha!".

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*Noise pollution to my ears*

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(quite inaudible blabber)

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It sort of reminds me of the Westboro Baptist Church

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You know holding their signs, that are hateful and everyone just hates on them.

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But they, they keep doing it because they think they have a purpose for it.

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Uh, uh, I think maybe I'm reading too much into this,

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but, it seems like the same thing here 'cause they just keep doubling down on how, how dumb they can act and that makes them,

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More money, and they think that ever, uh, anyone that just hates them doesn't understand that the fact that they're just playing it up,

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they're not actually that stupid, but in reality

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Yes,

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you are, you started this whole thing, because you were dumb, and just

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Because you're now playing into it doesn't change the fact that you are, in fact, incredibly stupid

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What I always wonder is... how do they monetize it? You know they're always flexing money,

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Instagram doesn't really get you that money unless you do some sponsor deal,

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It's not like you have ads on your photos,

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Or, it doesn't matter if your video gets a lot of views.

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WHERE DOES THE MONEY COME FROM??

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The only sponsored posts.

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I found, is this one.

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(LOTS OF NON-SENSE SWEARING AND FELIX "WOaH"-ing in the back)

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(shes the worst commercial model ever TT)

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(the hair looks better than her swearing)

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Tchhh-- *chuckles*

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*laughs*

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NOW THATS! THATS HOW YOU SPONSER CONTENT!!

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Just watch from WoahWicky! *Laughs* just watch from WoahWicky... [Inaudible ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

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*blabbering in alien voice*

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[Gibberish]

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Brad, one, is now going to subtitle this, in case you can't understand, uh,

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Brad has watched a lot of her videos, he's a big fan.

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So he will subtitle this for us this first piece because I didn't get any of that (He better, because I didn't understand any of that either)

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Okay, so she has a song. That's how she, so she got a record deal. Is that it? Who? The-?

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My follow-up question is, who buys the song?

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WHO'S BUYING THE SONG??

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Why would anyone buy the song?

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WHO IS THE CONSUMER OF THE SONG???

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"Ching Chong Ching Chong Ching Chong Beech"

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meow meow meow meow meow (WTF??)

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(She wrote a whole b-shit song about Asians)

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(PPL watching: Don't call Asians 'Ching Chong' or 'Chinki', it's very rude and inappropriate)

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Really good lyrics! At least we get to laugh at something... Sure, they get money, and they get famous

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but, we get good entertainment. This is great li - This is great stuff!

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You have to appreciate it.

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[a really immature girl on a single valentines day]

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(cuz ofcourse, who'd want to be lovers with headache?)

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(need meds? Call ambulance?)

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(imwoahvickey = forever alone)

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How to make a WoahWicky video: (100% Accurate Tutorial Insert Here)